Almost a month ago I, Helen, had surgery to totally replace my left knee. My surgery was on a Monday and on Wednesday I took a few steps - my way of landing on an aircraft carrier and declaring the major battle over. I was released that afternoon and I'm home now, with Peter taking care of me, and we've plenty of time, as well as continual painful reminders, to think about this event in our lives.
The euphemism for this surgery - "getting a brand new knee" - sounds great. Hearing what it really is - opening a foot-long gash from above to below the knee, stretching aside the muscles and ligaments far enough to amputate the leg at the knee by sawing off the ends of the bones, attaching artificial surfaces to the newly-sawn bones and then re-attaching everything and holding it all together with 32 metal staples - sounds pretty gruesome. It sounds horrific It sounds evil. At the very least it sounds like "torture" and you can just imagine how the MainStreamMedia would spin it. They would leave no stone unturned seeking out those few for whom this procedure didn't work or who are in the early stages of recovery and ask them how they "feel." The rest of the world would begin to think knee-replacement surgery was a dark conspiracy to inflict staggering pain on innocent cripples and create bloated profits for "Big Medicine." Yet it is a virtue, a good, done to combat a degenerative disease; to combat the evil that came into the world after Adam and Eve ate that apple.
During this ordeal we are reminded of when we first talked to Fr. Alexander Webster about his book, The Virtue of War. His main point was that war was a virtue, a good, with which to fight evil. Our Orthodox Christian tradition teaches that we cannot combat evil with evil. Thus, if war is evil, then we must abstain from it. However, he argues that war, even though it is horrible and devastating, is a virtue when used for the right purposes.
The same can be said for my surgery. What are we trying to accomplish through it? Since God never intended sickness and death for us and these came into the world only through the Fall, we're actually fighting evil. The corruption of disease and sickness of the body is from evil.
I thought I had a pretty good idea of what it would be like. I've had surgery before, but this one seemed particularly invasive and disruptive. So it was. There are good days, bad days, days of frustration, pain, boredom, depression, digestive problems because of the pain pills and, to top it off, an abscess in a supposedly treated tooth that required a second, emergency root canal. I had planned a smooth transition. I had planned to have plenty of time to write, I didn't plan my mind to go blank every few minutes. I had planned - but it didn't work out as I had planned. Yet, all this is perfectly normal under the circumstances.
The surprise root canal sure made the headlines around this house. How could such a thing happen? The dentist had assured me a few weeks before my knee surgery that he had taken care of it just so such an event would not occur. How could I even feel the maddening pain of it with all the medication I was taking? It was like a roadside bomb in its unexpected devastation and added pain.
Sometimes I have depressed days when I ask if I'm really better off than before the surgery. No! Right now I'm confined, hurting, reliant on pills and therapists. I sleep more. I don't enjoy my favorite foods, activities - even bathing is a painful, awkward chore rather than a refreshment. Then I remember, I'm in the healing process and that takes time. I am living in a world of medical marvels and am reaping their benefits, but I can tell you my mind isn't filled with the warm-and-fuzzies. I find little peace or comfort these days, but that doesn't mean my suffering is in vain. I've no reason to doubt that within the predicted three-month recovery period I will indeed be feeling much better. Also, there is a part of me that's still clear and sane and is truly grateful for this life and this process of healing. But, as of this writing, that part isn't making the headlines.
Does any of this remind you of war, especially the war we're in now? In our culture of instant gratification it's easy to lose sight of the fact that anything of real value demands time and effort and sometimes blood, sweat and tears to be accomplished. Sometimes we lose sight of the virtue of destroying evil so that good can prevail.
Sometimes it takes a close-to-home, human experience to help us put the larger world in perspective.
Peter and Helen Evans, "http://peterandhelenevans.com. This husband and wife team - freelance writers and speakers - teach a philosophical approach to conservatism, and are scheduled speakers at Blogging Man "http://www.bloggingman.org/" . They are also real estate agents in the Washington, DC area.
