Ben Bernanke, the relatively new Fed Chairman, greatly resembles my calico cat, in that they both can see things that aren't there and stare at them for hours. I have no clue what my cat is staring at, but Bernanke apparently can see inflation when none is there. None is even on the horizon.

US consumer prices have risen by 0.2% in the past quarter. The Core Inflation Index has risen 2.0. Fed officials state that they expect inflation to moderate! Amazing statement, considering that inflation is so close to zero now, and at levels considered quite wonderful in the not-so-distant past.

The economy, meanwhile, hampered by fuel costs, has been growing at a measly 2.7%.

The major question to be asked is why Bernanke and the Fed have kept the damper on the economy. The excuse they give is inflation, but that is clearly imaginary. It is a figment of their imagination. (I once thought I had invented a new color, but it was a pigment of my imagination.) Bernanke has recently claimed that he has no fears of an economic slowdown because capital goods expenditures have been moderately good. This is a blatant lie. Capital goods expenditures were down 0.13% at last measure.

The economy is clearly being held hostage by Bernanke and the Fed. Their excuses are clearly false. So what is the real reason?

1) Have the Democrats kidnapped Bernanke's grandchildren and threatened to kill them if he doesn't destroy the economic boom created by the Bush tax cuts?

2) Were Bernanke or other Fed board members' names on the list of 900 illegally-held FBI files that were in Hillary's grubby hands for so long, and are they being blackmailed by material therein?

3) Were they covert enemy agents whose sleeper cell has been activated?

4) Or are they all on drugs?

I can't think of another reasonable answer for their clearly delusional and harmful monetary behavior.