Thank the Good Lord they can't bottle stupidity, because there seems to be an abundance of it at all levels of government. With all of the real serious problems this country faces, you'd think that the mayor of a major city would have his hands full, what with terrorists preparing to kill us and all that...

There is a growing movement by many cities to ban bottled water in city departments. The supporters of this movement cite environmental concerns as the primary reason they're doing it. Diminutive fascist mayor Gavin Newsom of San Francisco hopes that by heeding his example, other cities, and perhaps the private sector will pledge in unison not to purchase bottled water, thereby rescuing humanity and saving the planet from this most foul of substances.

While we're on the subject of water, let's take a look at what must be swimming around in the heads of Mayor Newsom and other supporters of this (the only word that comes to mind:) crap.

Myth vs. Reality

Myth: The City claims that for the price of a single bottle of Evian, one can receive 1,000 gallons of pristine tap water.

Reality: That's assuming you're able to access 1,000 gallons of tap water. Californians endure stretches of drought that last many years, often leading to severe restrictions on water usage. Restaurants stopped serving water unless specifically asked by customers, due to water shortages. Government officials admonished people to conserve - not to water their lawns, take long showers, or fill swimming pools. Who is Newsom kidding?

Myth: The city claims that bottled water production is toxic to the environment, that plastic bottles of water cost far too much to ship, and it wastes far too much fuel to do so.

Reality: Bottled water makes up only a tiny fraction of also consumer beverages, and an even smaller percentage of plastic products. Any effort to curb pollution due to the production or transportation of plastic products or bottled water must also focus on every plastic product, or else the people pushing it are a). liars, b). fascists, c). hypocrites, d). all of the above. They conveniently ignore the waste, garbage, and pollution caused by the production, transportation, and consumption of beverages in glass containers and aluminum cans, both of which are heavier than plastic, thereby consuming exponentially more fuel to transport. The reality is, Newsom the socialist simply cannot stand to see affluent people drinking three dollar bottles of water. Last time I checked, that was Old Glory flying over the Capitol, not the Hammer and Sickle, Comrade Newsom.

Myth: Proponents of a bottled water ban claim that the product is nothing more than expensively packaged tap water, that producers engaged in deceptive marketing practices, and in some cases bottled water contained bacteria and arsenic.

Reality: Bottled water is by far a healthier alternative than the 110 calories and gobs of sugar you'll get in a can of carbonated soda. The deceptive marketing practices that the State of California engaged in at the behest of the feds with their reformulated gasoline containing higher concentrations of methyl tertiary-butyl ether (MTBE) was far worse.

MTBE was supposed to help the environment. It resulted in cleaner gasoline, but it is a carcinogen, and studies show that it has now seeped into ground and drinking water supplies across the country. The EPA deems it unlikely to be harmful at concentrations less than 40 ppb, but in Santa Monica in the mid-90s it was found in two water supplies at 610 ppb and 86 ppb, far above acceptable levels. Arsenic is a heavy metal. As such, it occurs naturally in small quantities and is found in hundreds of products, including water. I would argue, just like the EPA does with MTBE, that minute quantities of naturally-occurring arsenic aren't dangerous.

Now perhaps you see where this is going. Government changes its tune every couple of years when it comes to the health of the masses. Remember the Food Pyramid, which resulted in carb-consciousness? It was government's idea to consume all of those carbs.

Mayor Gavin Newsom, who had an extramarital affair with no less than the wife of his trusted campaign manger, has no place passing moral judgments on the rest of America for our personal habits that don't bother anyone.

If an affluent American wants to drive around in their gas-guzzling Hummer or convertible Mercedes Benz, wearing Gucci, and sipping four dollar bottled water, or even $55 Bling water for that matter, that is their prerogative.