While I write these following words with a broken heart and a great deal of prejudice, please bear with me . . . I am a Louisianian. I've spent the past few days agonizing over the state of my beloved state. One may move away, but the heart always leads you back home. My home is Louisiana.

I grew up in Shreveport, spent summers in Lafayette, took graduation trips to New Orleans, started college in Pineville, and then finished my extended education in Mississippi. I remember Hurricane Camille in 1969 - people were fleeing the central Gulf coast - and though I wanted to be home for my birthday, I wasn't sure I'd make it. I was on one of the last planes out of New Orleans before Camille lashed and slammed into the Mississippi coastline. It was a late Saturday afternoon and I was riding in a very small "cargo-like" plane on Royal Orleans airliner to Alexandria, Louisiana. It was so small that the seat you sat on was somewhat like a "Murphy" bed
- anchored to the wall - and you pulled it down to sit on it. I can remember looking down through the cracks in the floor and seeing the scenery below - not out a window. I could hear the putter of those small engines, I could feel the gusts of wind sweeping us (just me and one other passenger) to and fro and my nerves were on edge. I realized we weren't flying very high and wondered if I would make it into Esler Field. That's when we were still boarding and departing planes on the tarmac and I was truly looking for that strip of runway that would bring me home. Camille hit 24 hours later on my special day - so, you see it was truly one to remember. It was a catastrophe - although there had been other category 5 hurricanes in the Atlantic - never had one hit mainland American at such velocity . . . Camille did.

So the latest situation in lovely Louisiana has definitely hit my heart as a category 5. The winds hit land as a technical "4" and did great damage, but the destruction that has ensued is of "Biblical" proportions, and its true "category number" of destroyed lives and property may never be known.

I've listened to the criticism, I've watched every report possible, I've been stunned with utter disbelief, been angry at reporters, heartened by the bravery, disgusted with the thievery, and then anguished by the comparisons of 9/11. Yes, the day the terrorists attacked New York, the Pentagon and then ended with a failed mission in a Pennsylvania field has become our model for how to handle crises. While I agree wholeheartedly that the mayor, city officials, and all the emergency services acted with exceptional speed and diligence to save lives - and even giving the ultimate sacrifice of their own - New Orleans can never be compared to New York City.

To even try to compare it would be to put ALL of Manhattan under water, with all emergency services grounded, no electricity, no water, no food, no fire trucks racing to the scene, and everyone struggling to get off the island that was virtually shut off from the rest of the state. If that were the case, a comparison would be fair. But even then, that would not give you the coverage of what was done to Louisiana, Mississippi, Alabama, and parts of Florida. This storm battered and beat tens of thousands of people down - it's beaten us all down.

The shock was so stupefying, that only the grace of God could forgive the inability to perform needed tasks.

I would dare not try to take away from the horrific event that happened on 9/11 - my heart still grieves. But we must be fair. One huge city block was targeted, hit, and fell within the confines of a few other blocks. The billowing smoke and debris had devastating effects on the psyche of our united emotions, but the McDonald's - not even a football field away - still stood. Many buildings were crippled on the perimeter of this devastation, but it was a completely different catastrophe that called for different resources and a completely different mindset.

It is said that Mayor Giuliani could come out and speak to the people, get on national TV and tell people which subways were closed, which streets were off-limits, and what would be done next. But please remember, it was still within a given area. It was painful to see those buildings fall - I cried for days - the lingering sights of people jumping from windows was a visual that will stay with me till my dying days. But I could never compare these catastrophes; both were shocking, but not the same.

First of all - as long as we live - we will never be able to react or respond in kind to disaster and devastation such as this. Try as we may, we will never have all the resources available to every city in this country to sustain the kind of damage done to New York City or the damage done to New Orleans
. . . NEVER. And when we think we can, woe be unto us all.

Louisiana's nickname, Sportsman's Paradise, is befitting this wonderful state. New York is the heart and mind of America in many respects - has a state-of-the-art mentality - and lacks for needed resources in case of an emergency. But again, you must put all of Manhattan under water to be completely fair.

The worst ever catastrophe in the history of this great country just covered over a 90 square mile area - just in New Orleans.

The Biblical proportions cannot possibly be comprehended. Many complained that emergency services passed them by while another human being was dying at their side. At a time like this, I can see both sides. Officials were racing past lines of people trying to get to those still barricaded in buildings and homes with no way out. And yes, we suffered a death - and now many more - right there lined up on a freeway. The shock of it all was overwhelming and many knew not what to do.

I could point my fingers, I could scream at some of the things I've seen, but the "couldas, wouldas, and shouldas," will do us no good NOW. We need to come together, bury our dead, and accept the fact that there is no one to blame but God himself. And for those of you who are brave enough to take it up with Him - go ahead.

I believe He's been trying to get our attention but no one has wanted to listen. But God has a way of showing His creatures who's in charge and we must never forget the lessons of life here on this earth.

We can "blame" till the cows come home . . . I'm in Texas now. And we can sue till the money's all gone. Whatever your complaint, I am certain that you are justified and right. We must live our lives taking responsibility for the choices we make. Some chose to leave - some chose to stay, but be assured, no one lied to you.

Whatever was done wrong can NOW be done right. We have another chance at this, and this is the time when America can make a come-back and show its true strength. Otherwise, if we continue to throw rocks in this time of turmoil, we will indeed bury ourselves alive.

God is watching - how will you respond? The sweetest words heard during this entire time . . . "let's pray."

Debbie Daniel can be contacted at: dddtx@yahoo.com