 |
|
|
Tuesday, March 28, 2006 09:55:55 AM
I believe Man exists to leave his species and the world in a better place for his children than they were left for him. And while I’m not sure whether we’ve succeeded at this with any generational regularity, I stand firm in the knowledge “My Humps” (by the Black Eyed Peas) being beamed directly to cell phones doesn’t make the world a better place. Friday, February 10, 2006 11:52:07 AM
It applies to liberals generally, but for the purposes of this column we’ll call it the Sharpton Standard: Any one person, position or product’s worth should be measured in direct proportion to Al Sharpton’s opposition to it. In other words, the louder Sharpton’s voice against something, the greater the odds that thing is worthwhile. Today that thing is “Return of the King,” the controversial ninth episode in The Boondocks cartoon series, based on the syndicated comic strip, which airs Sunday nights at 11pm Eastern, during Cartoon Network’s “Adult Swim” block. Tuesday, February 07, 2006 09:42:07 PM
There was a time when I desperately hoped Maxine Waters would run for president. My plan was to drop whatever else was in the pipeline – columns, books, gainful employment, anything – and dedicate every waking moment to the complete intellectual vivisection of her unfortunate career. Tuesday, January 31, 2006 12:23:57 PM
St. Martin’s Press has gone to great expense promoting Leonard Steinhorn’s new book, The Greater Generation, including placing two page ads in magazines like Atlantic Monthly, where I just learned the upshot: The baby boom generation is greater than what is commonly called the Greatest Generation. Friday, January 27, 2006 09:13:31 PM
One: At first, the Bush administration (via John Ashcroft) opposed Oregon’s assisted suicide law because it violated the Controlled Substances Act (CSA), which holds that prescription drugs should only be used for “legitimate medical purposes.” Tuesday, January 24, 2006 11:36:23 AM
The reader will please forgive this departure from the ordinary and tolerate an announcement: Following some deep thought and a meeting with Jennifer Bednarek (my newly minted lead researcher), I am proud to announce that my next book will be called Lincoln's Tomb. It will follow Abraham Lincoln’s corpse on its 36-year journey from the Peterson house (where he died, across the street from Ford’s Theatre) to Oak Ridge Cemetery in Springfield, Illinois, whereupon it was fought over, repeatedly inspected, moved over a dozen times and nearly kidnapped for ransom before finally being laid to rest in 1901. Wednesday, January 18, 2006 12:59:06 PM
Liberal understanding of America’s enemies has never extended much beyond Sting’s old song “Russians” – “There is no historical precedent to put the words in the mouth of the president [meaning Reagan] / There’s no such thing as a winable war / It’s a lie we don’t believe anymore” – which is why grown-ups ignore them at crucial times, like when Iran insists on furthering its nuclear program. Tuesday, January 10, 2006 11:14:09 AM
“The most politically perilous entitlement mentality congressional Republicans have to rein in is their own,” National Review explained in its 19 December issue. “Michael Scanlon, Republican uber-lobbyist Jack Abramoff’s crooked colleague, has agreed to plead guilty to a conspiracy that showered gifts on lawmakers and their aides allegedly in return for official favors. He is now cooperating with the three dozen investigators and prosecutors in the Abramoff case who are reportedly examining the actions of at least six members of Congress and several senior House aides …. It seems the corrupt chickens and coming home to roost in the Republicans’ too cozy coup. If the GOP leadership fails to take the initiative and clean up the House, the voters should do it for them.” Friday, January 06, 2006 11:24:59 AM
Remember in 1992 when that senseless child asked Bill Clinton about his underwear on MTV? In The Unabrian Manifesto, I wrote that this was the moment Mature America rolled its eyes, knowing it had just witnessed the end of civilization. I couldn’t have been more wrong. As it turned out, the actual end of civilization came a couple weeks ago when The Wall Street Journal reported about hymen reconstruction surgery on its front page. Monday, January 02, 2006 07:44:38 PM
I’ve stopped watching Hardball. Normally I’d tune in for the 3am Eastern showing, but I’ve switched to the Three Stooges on Spike TV (called “the first network for men” when, in fact, ESPN was the first network for men). Thursday, November 10, 2005 11:16:41 PM
As it turns out, France is no better at handling riotous Arabs within its own borders than it thinks we are in Iraq. Friday, November 04, 2005 10:18:27 AM
Michelle Malkin’s publisher has done something very smart with her new book, Unhinged – it has printed actual hate e-mails sent to Malkin, and the addresses from which they came, on the back cover. For those who haven’t yet seen the back cover, it’s worth a trip to the nearest bookstore. Wednesday, October 19, 2005 12:00:07 AM
Responding to a caller’s suggestion Social Security as we know it could be more than fully funded if only the tens of millions of babies aborted since Roe v. Wade had been allowed to live and pay taxes, Bill Bennett said: “All right, well, I mean, I just don’t know. Wednesday, October 12, 2005 10:16:57 AM
How long did it take you to get over SARS? Oh, you didn’t get SARS? Exactly. You won’t get bird flu, either; neither will anyone you know. In fact, of the nearly 300 million people crammed into these 50 States, only a very, very, very small number will become infected, if any at all. Sunday, October 09, 2005 12:00:27 AM
When President Bush says Harriet Miers is the best-qualified person he could find and nominate for associate justice, he’s lying. Tuesday, September 20, 2005 10:03:11 AM
Speaking from New Orleans last week, President Bush promised the federal government would "undertake a close partnership with the states of Louisiana and Mississippi, the city of New Orleans, and other Gulf Coast cities, so they can rebuild in a sensible, well planned way. Tuesday, September 13, 2005 09:21:40 AM
For the sake of today's column, we'll say institutional racism played a very large part in what went wrong in New Orleans. Sunday, April 10, 2005 11:21:42 PM
Liberalism is the only political movement that forthrightly denies it has any influence. Take the media (please). Disavowing the existence of a liberal media (Republicans call it Old Media) became such a chore for the Left that Eric Alterman finally took it upon himself to prove there was no such thing. Beginning with a dismissive closing argument (What liberal media?) and working his way backward, Alterman convinced himself and a publisher not only that the liberal media didnt exist, but that it hadnt ever existed. All in all, Altermans book was an amusing little piece of stick-to-itiveness, but no more honest or convincing than any of the old denials about Old Media, or the courts, classroom, and entertainment industry. Friday, February 18, 2005 12:25:17 AM
Free speech is as tender a subject as it is irritating. Tender because its one of the few parts of the Constitution people still take seriously, as it goes to the heart of a freedom we take very seriously; irritating because no one invokes the right unless theyre caught advancing the civilized worlds dumbest ideas, theories, or art. Tuesday, February 15, 2005 04:32:30 AM
Democrats have lifted to leadership a man who recently said he hates Republicans. This at least separates him from the rest of the Left, which hates America and prefers it be reconstructed in a more well Soviet image. No, Howard Dean just hates Republicans, a stance that by necessity must include those on the Right who were discontented enough with President Bush to initially support Dean for president. Well, maybe not those Republicans, but oh, skip it. Tuesday, February 01, 2005 07:38:49 PM
Question One: How can any election be legitimate if so many people in this case, Sunnis refuse to participate? It would be an understandable concern if this were Iraqs last free election, but in the near term there will be a vote to ratify a new constitution (no later than October), then another to establish a firm government (no later than December). Relax theres plenty of time for Sunnis to threaten and obstruct, or to adopt the Cook County Method of registering dead people / dogs. Theyll be up and stealing elections in no time. Friday, January 28, 2005 06:13:12 AM
by Brian Wise Its one of those trite little things people say when befuddled by a particularly irritating set of parents in the news, but perhaps we should start thinking about it seriously: If someone must have a license to fly a plane, drive a car, practice law, serve alcohol, hunt, or fish, why not for creating and raising children? God forbid any conservative (outside Washington DC, anyway) stand for government expansion, but does it make sense to you that daycare providers must show more evidence of intellectual proficiency than the people who will pay their college tuitions? Friday, January 14, 2005 10:03:26 PM
by Brian Wise It occurs to me that in titling a column Ted Kennedy is Not Smart, I find myself in a position most columnists would greatly admire, namely preaching to one of the largest choirs ever assembled around a political notion. But if anyone in the choir has ever wavered, their resolve will be strengthened by the senators Tuesday speech at the National Press Club, in which he was Uniquely Teddy: Bumbling and intellectually dishonest, lying to himself and his audience, teetering on the edge of the same creepy neo-socialism that grips all liberals in times of distress (the theory being that if Democrats promise to give the people more and more, the people will love them again). Tuesday, January 11, 2005 08:37:24 PM
by Brian Wise They say Social Security is the third rail of American politics, and they should know because they have been sidestepping its flaws for decades, in hopes that not uttering the word reform would benefit their political careers. But the old third rail doesnt quite carry the voltage it used to; there was a time when suggesting the retirement ago should be raised was tantamount to saying the elderly should be barbequed. Today the same idea is greeted mostly with quiet nodding; the closer Social Security comes to collapse, the more people resent subsidizing retirements not their own. |